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Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again. Joseph Campbell

Our lives are so busy and noisy, that we often forget about the healing power of silence. When we're out in the world, it's not usually possible to control the noise level. At home, we can usually turn down the noise, but why not take it a step further and create a sacred space of peacefulness and healing?

After my surgery, I had lots of down time to sit and be and was often drawn to a certain chair in my living room. The chair was comfortable, the room quiet (no television) and the view from my window was lovely during those many spring weeks of disability. I returned to this chair again and again, to meditate, or just to rest.

Gradually, that space became sacred to me. I brought meaningful items into it by creating a makeshift altar. On a tray on the coffee table I gathered votive candles, pictures of my family, and two small Buddhas. A small carved elephant I found in an antique shop became very special to me. I was dealing with a lot during that time and meeting with an oncology therapist for support and guidance. One day she told me I had the emotional memory of an elephant - whatever I remembered, I felt again. That elephant became a symbol to me of my pain and my growing awareness of how I processed it.

You can get started creating a sacred space for yourself by following a few easy steps:

1.  Decide what "sacred" means to you. Do you need a space for yoga, meditation or spiritual connection? To me, sacred means uplifting, peaceful and spiritual. What does it mean to you?

2.  Dedicate a spot in your home that can become sacred. It doesn't have to be a whole room. It can be a corner of a room, the top of a dresser, or any other space you can find. My space is in the middle of my living room. When I am there, alone, it's sacred. When my family is in the space, it's just as sacred, but in a very different way.

3.  Create your own altar.  Find personal items which are meaningful to you. Next to my candles, pictures, Buddhas and elephant, I have a small piece of tile. I found it while taking a walk around my neighborhood and it is really beautiful. To me, it symbolized the importance of getting back out into the world and finding gifts of cancer in places I didn't expect to find them.  

4.  Surround yourself with inspirational icons. Fill your space with meaningful quotes, spiritual symbols, calming music, plants, and any other items that uplift your spirit. Connecting with our spiritual selves opens up an amazing well to drink from when stresses come our way.

5.  Create a ritual. Once you've created your sacred space, how will you honor it? Will you use it to meditate for a few minutes every morning? Will you just sit, with your eyes closed, enjoying a few minutes of peace and quiet? Your ritual can be simple or complicated but, whatever you elect to do, make it meaningful to you.

Take a few minutes to bring peacefulness and healing into your nest by creating sacred space. It's not hard to do and has immense rewards. If you already have a sacred space, I'd love to hear about it.  If I've inspired you to create one, I'd love to know how you made it meaningful to you. 

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For almost 18 wonderful years, I've had the privilege of building a close relationship with my daughter. Whether in person, or by phone or text, we like to talk about everything and anything. Today she texted me to say how much she missed her friend who just transferred to another school. She was "lonely" and "bored" without her.

My response: "Think relaxing thoughts. Be your own best friend. You have to be alone sometimes."

Her response: "Yeah, I actually tell myself that a lot cuz of eighth grade when I didn't have friends and that's what you told me."

My response:  "What did I say?"

Her response: "That I have to be okay with being by myself sometimes."

Unlike solitude, which we choose, loneliness is a force we have to work with or risk allowing it to swallow us up. I guess I made a point to teach my daughter about being okay with it once and a while because of experiences in my life.

I grew up in a small Cape Cod house with two parents and eight brothers and sisters. Despite the obvious noise and activity, I often felt alone, especially during my teenage years. I was the oldest, a girl (followed in birth order by four brothers) and my youngest sibling was 14 years younger than me. I often existed in a parallel universe very different from the one inhabited by my siblings.

In my adult life, the most lonely experiences accompanied birth and cancer. The day my daughter was born, I was ill all day and ended up in the hospital severely dehydrated. Dehydration led to labor and she was born at 11:46 p.m. Although I was probably food poisoned, my doctor couldn't rule out infection. To protect my newborn, I wasn't allowed to touch or hold her. Instead, I spent the night in a room, alone, without my new baby or my husband (who I encouraged to go home to rest.) To this day, almost 18 years later, I remember laying there and thinking, "This certainly didn't go as planned." I expected to meet my daughter and have her with me. Instead, my new family was separated and I was alone. 

The second experience came after my mastectomy for breast cancer. After six and a half months of diagnostic tests, doctors visits, and finally my surgery, I was bowled over by the emotional impact of it all. My family, so very relieved that I was alive, was happy to move on and put the whole cancer thing behind them. I found myself again living in a parallel universe very much apart from my family. It was a horribly lonely place to be. 

The cancer-induced loneliness lasted an entire summer. My wonderful oncology therapist helped me tremendously by letting me express my sadness and building anger. With her help, I was eventually able to make my family understand that I needed them to be where I was - that cancer was not yet over for me. 

Life teaches us that we have to handle being by ourselves sometimes. It's an important lesson to learn, but cancer-induced loneliness is bigger than that and not something we should accept as another loss of cancer. If you are finding yourself still struggling, while others around you are only too happy to put your cancer behind them, get support anywhere you can. Seek out others who understand how you feel and with whom you can share your feelings. My therapist helped me carry the overwhelming weight of my loneliness that summer. I shudder to think what would have happened if I had been forced to carry it alone.  

Have you or are you still dealing with the loneliness of life after cancer? What has helped you deal with it?

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A house is much more than a mere shelter, it should lift us emotionally and spiritually." John Saladino

As a place to reconnect, re-energize and reflect, our homes support our healing from all of life's stresses and maladies. A house is truly a home when it lifts us up, especially when we are struggling. Here are five simple tricks you can do right now to bring cheer and healing into your home: 

1.  Let in the Light:   Natural light is a stimulant. In fact, the lack of natural light affects some people so much that they suffer from depression during the colder winter months. Look at your windows and ask yourself if they are letting in enough light. Are your drapes heavy and covering the window?  A decorator's trick is to move your curtain rod out beyond the frame of the window so the drape covers mostly wall and just the vertical edges of the window. This trick makes your window appear larger and you'll see a huge difference in the amount of window you've opened up. If you have a view which doesn't make you happy, put up sheers. They will let light in and soften the view.    

2.  Wake up with Color:  Color is directly tied to mood. We all know that there are colors that engender happiness, such as yellow and red. No need, however, to paint the entire room bright yellow!  Use accessories to bring in pops of color. Scatter throw pillows, vases, flowers, throws and the like around the room. This trick brings in just the right amount of color and can be accomplished in an afternoon after a trip to the local home store.  And the best part? When you tire of a color, simply change it out. You can't do that with a paint can! 

3.  Surround Yourself with Things You Love::  A long time ago, I went to a new client's house. Although the house was beautifully decorated, I noticed there wasn't one personal item to be seen except for a few family photos on one wall. It turned out that the house, formerly the neighborhood's show house, had been bought complete with all its furnishings. This created an interesting problem for my client, who was afraid to move a stick of furniture out of place.  

As much as my client loved her new house, it wasn't yet a home because it didn't reflect the family who lived within its walls. Without personal items, such as books, souvenirs, family pictures, children's art - the list is limitless - the house had no soul and was still just a show house. Take the time to identify items you love, which speak to you of experiences, relationships or beauty, and display them proudly. If you love them, you will love seeing them in your home. 

4.  Revel in Personal Collections:  An easy and cost-free decorator trick is to group collections. Often, clients tell me they don't collect anything. At the same time, I see interesting items scattered around the house which, when brought together, become a collection. Look around your house right now for multiples. Decorators say that three or more of anything is a collection. Don't be limited by labels. Items of the same shape or color can also form a collection. I bet you have an interesting collection right now, just waiting to be discovered and celebrated.

5.  Bring in Natural Accents:   There's something about flowers, pinecones, acorns, branches and leaves that bring life to the indoors. Using natural elements in the home creates a connection between the indoors and outdoors, which lifts our spirits.  Keep it simple and stay away from plastic, which is one of my decorating pet peeves. Whatever you can find in fake flowers will never approach the beauty of just a few cut branches from your backyard. A beautiful vase of real flowers is a focal point that helps rest your mind and calm you.

Wherever you are on your cancer journey, you deserve every bit of support you can find. Our home environments are a huge part of that support system. Do what you can, even if it's just something small, to bring cheer to your home and it will reward you. It was an ancient Greek poet, Pindar, who said, "The best of healers is good cheer."  I'd love to know what little thing you did today to bring cheer and healing into your home.

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Back in June I posted a little love letter to an organization which is close to my heart. The mission of Interregnum, Inc., a grief support organization, is to help people learn to find life after loss. This month, in support of breast cancer awareness, Interregnum, Inc., is launching its Send a Heart of Hope program. 

The new program features beautiful, hand-painted ceramic hearts with a variety of inspirational messages. You can choose from the Breast Cancer Ribbon of Hope heart, or the Reflection, Hope Blooms, Hope Takes Flight, Soar or Inspiration hearts. Choose the design that speaks to you, fill in your personal card, and Interregnum will send your ribboned and gift-wrapped heart on its way. The cost of sending a heart is $25.00. All net funds raised are used to help fund Interregnum’s programs, including its successful Hearts of Hope community outreach program.

It was through the Hearts of Hope program that I came to know Interregnum, Inc. The program engages community groups in the painting of ceramic hearts that are delivered free-of-charge to people transitioning through difficult times in their lives. Recipients have included patients in hospitals, cancer centers and hospices, the bereaved, and men and women in the military. More than 25,000 people have received these beautiful reminders of caring. I have two of these hearts and treasure the message they gave me during difficult times.

For the new Send a Heart of Hope initiative, artists from around the country graciously donated their painting talents to this worthwhile cause. Sue Macheska, Program Director of Hearts of Hope, is "hopeful that people will look forward to sending our hearts, knowing that they are supporting a great cause while bringing a spark of joy and beauty to someone who needs a lift!" 

To order a heart and learn more about Interregnum, Inc., visit the website and click on the Send a Heart of Hope button. This Cancer Warrior Wednesday, I'm so happy to feature the Send a Heart of Hope program because of my gratitude for the Hearts of Hope I received. If you have an organization you are particularly fond of, please share it with me and let me know what makes it special to you.

The weather is finally turning cooler, and the air is crisp and clear. It's finally autumn! Although the calendar introduced the season two weeks ago, it was in name only. Summer refused to exit on cue and took its time winding down to its inevitable end. Now autumn is finally here and it's time to seasonalize the nest!

Seasonalize is a word you won't find in the dictionary, but decorators use it a lot. It means to bring your indoor environment in synch with the outdoor environment to reflect the season outdoors within your home. Seasonalizing goes to the core of nesting by fostering snuggling in the fall/winter and lightening up in the spring/summer. I love October and celebrate it every year by seasonalizing my home. By doing so I am acting as a creature of nature and am present within it.

How do you start? It's really easy! Here are a few tips to get you on your way:

1.  When:  I seasonalize twice a year, in the fall and the spring. In the fall, I'm happy to begin the process of hunkering down in the warmth of my home during the cold winter months. In the spring, I'm looking to bring nature in and be part of the outdoors. Like other animals, we are impacted upon by the seasons. When we acknowledge our primal need to be one with the seasons, we are much more comfortable in our indoor environment.

2.  Put Summer in Storage:  Clear out anything that reminds you of summer. Put away beach towels, bathing suits, flip flops, shells, summer-themed placemats, lacy pillows or sheer curtains, summer-weight area rugs, cotton and silk sheets and anything else that is too light and summery to warm you up as the weather gets colder.  

3.  Layer on the Warmth:  Get out the flannel sheets, heavier blankets, and a luxurious throw for the bed. In the living room, put throws on the sofa and change up the accent pillows from lighter summer-themed ones, to fall-inspired hues. Go for jewel tones. Anything that mimics the colors of fallen leaves will work beautifully. If possible, put up heavier drapes at the windows to visually and literally keep cold air out. Replace summery area rugs or cover bare floors with heavy, plush wool rugs. Your toes will thank you. 

4.  Make the Fireplace a Focal Point:  If you're lucky enough to have one, a fireplace can be the star of your fall/winter nest. Make it stand out by bringing the fireplace tools out of storage, rearrange the mantel to feature fall/winter themes (candles, gourds, jewel colored vases, etc.), and make sure there's a stack of firewood ready for use.

4.  Create Seasonal Vignettes:  Just because we want to keep the cold weather outside, doesn't mean we want to be cut off from nature. Put apples and pinecones in a bowl. Gather pumpkins, squash and other gourds from the farmers' market and display them like treasures. Take a hike, collecting interesting leaves, acorns, and rocks along the way, and bring them home to display. 

5.  Set a Seasonal Table:  The richness of fall and harvest time comes alive at the family table. Bring out placemats woven of natural fibers, such as rattan or water hyacinth. Rustic dishes, napkins and heavier trays and serving pieces complete the look. Put a bowl of pears, pomegranates and pinecones in the center of the table. Fall/winter decorating is all about warm, nubby and interesting textures. The table is the perfect place to bring those textures alive. 

The seasons of nature create an ebb and a flow that cycles with perfect balance. When we plug back into that flow and honor the seasons, we resonate and reconnect with life itself.  As cancer survivors, we should take every opportunity to nurture ourselves and return our body, soul and mind to balance. There is no better place to do that than in our own homes. Nesting and taking the time to seasonalize your home honors our place in the world. Let me know if you come up with ideas of your own to bring your nest in synch with the colder seasons.

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