giving back

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." Maya Angelou

“To those whom much is given, much is expected.” John F. Kennedy

For those of us with safe, comfortable homes much has truly been given. Our gratitude propels us to give back, but sometimes we don't know how. I just learned about a horrible statistic with an easy, inexpensive fix that I have to share with you.

Did you know that a child dies every 45 second from malaria? Malaria is spread by mosquitos and a $10.00 mosquito net is the solution to ending this scourge in Africa by 2015. 

What can you do? Simple. Buy a book. The book is End Malaria: Bold Innovation, Limitless Generosity, and the Opportunity to Save a Life. 

End Malaria offers selections from 62 contributors, including Brene Brown, Tom Peters, Nicholas Carr, Pam Slim and Sir Ken Robinson. It's organized into three main sections - Focus, Courage, Resilience - and eight subsections - Tap Your Strengths, Create Freedom, Love & Be Kind, Disrupt Normal, Take Small Steps, Embrace Systems, Get Physical, Collaborate. All essays in End Malaria seek to "inspire readers to look within themselves for solutions to their everyday dilemmas and for motivation to realize their desires."

The book costs $25, with $20 going to the cause to buy two nets. ($5.00 covers the production costs.) If you buy the Kindle version, the cost is $20 and the entirety goes to the purchase of two nets. You can only get the book from Amazon which, along with the contributors and publisher, is making no profit on the book.

Thank you to Brene Brown who alerted me to this fabulous opportunity to give back and from whom I stole the title, "Buy a book. Save a life." (If you haven't already discovered Brene's blog and her wonderful books on vulnerability and shame, don't go another day without getting to know her.)  I've already downloaded my copy of End Malaria on my Kindle Fire. It feels good to know that, because of me, two more mosquito nets will be sent to a family in need.

If you are interested in this opportunity to give back and buy the book, please let me know. I'd love to hear that a few more nets made their way to Africa because of our community.

(Disclaimer: Amazon associates links, but, like everyone else, I will not make any money on the End Malaria book or Kindle edition.) 

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Last June, I wrote a blog post listing "Five Reasons You Should Seriously Consider Donating Blood." The fifth reason, supplied by the American Red Cross, was the most surprising to me. And, now that I know it, it is the number one reason I support blood donation:

"More than 1 million new people are diagnosed with cancer each year. Many of them will need blood, sometimes daily, during their chemotherapy treatment."

In response to that post, I got a beautiful comment from Julie, who wrote:

Hi Debbie,

Thank you for donating blood! I received over 130 units of blood and many platelet transfusions as part of my treatment for acute myelogenous leukemia. It is so incredible to me that strangers donate a part of themselves to help someone who will most likely never have the chance to thank them.

I gave blood and platelets prior to my diagnosis, and you are so right...it feels wonderful to be able to give such an important gift. I recently starting having therapeutic phlebotomies because my iron is too high due to the transfusions. When I walked into the clinic, I got teary...now that I had experienced what it felt like to be on the receiving end of transfusions, the clinic took on a greater meaning to me.

Thank you for giving and for encouraging others. I always looked forward to my transfusions because they gave me energy, got rid of my anemia headaches and made the whole process of fighting cancer seem more doable.

Take care,
Julie

Because blood supplies are usually critically low in the winter months, January has been recognized as National Blood Donation Month for over 40 years. I'm a good example of the problem. About two weeks before Christmas, I got a call from the blood donation center at my cancer center. I've donated before, and they reached out because they needed me to donate again. I was just too busy before the holidays, however, and they promised to call back in January. First thing yesterday morning they were on the phone and we made an appointment for next week. 

If you're a cancer survivor, you might think you can't give the gift of blood donation. I thought the same thing, but, in truth, eligibility depends on the type of cancer and treatment history. Speak to your doctor to learn more, but, in general, only survivors of blood cancers are not eligible to donate. For other types of cancer, you are eligible if you were successfully treated over 12 months ago and have experienced no recurrence in that time.  In-situ cancers that are completely removed do not require the 12 month waiting period.

Blood donation is a wonderful way to give back and help other cancer survivors get through their treatment. Next week, when I stick out my arm, I'll be thinking of Julie and the 130 units of blood and platelets she needed as part of her treatment. Will you join me and make an appointment to donate blood this month? It's easy, just contact your local hospital, cancer center or The American Red Cross today.

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We are not cisterns made for hoarding, we are channels made for sharing. Billy Graham

Sharing my story with other cancer patients/survivors is the most effective way I've found to give back for all the support I received when I felt alone. That's why I'm a big fan of the Cancer Hope Network and proud to work with them as a trained support volunteer.

The national, non-profit group was founded in 1981 by Diane Byrnes-Paul, whose uncle had cancer.  After undergoing treatment, he told his niece that he wouldn't have suffered as much emotionally if he had been able to speak with someone who had survived a similar cancer experience. As an oncology nurse, Diane heard many other patients say the same thing. It struck her that only people who had the same cancer, treatments, side effects and survivorship issues could truly restore hope to despairing cancer patients/survivors.

Her idea evolved into Cancer Hope Network, a New Jersey-based, national organization providing one-on-one support to cancer patients/survivors and their families on a free and confidential basis. I am one of over 400 trained support volunteers, all of whom are cancer survivors.

Wanda Diak, Executive Director and a survivor herself, notes, “We find that the patients in most need of help are those recently diagnosed with cancer.  At that point many people are overwhelmed by a wide range of emotions and concerns. The combination of fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and side effects causes many to despair and become emotionally paralyzed. The opportunity to talk to someone who can truly relate not only provides immediate hope but also a sense of relief and knowledge that they, too, can get through treatment and start living life to its fullest.”

The strength of Cancer Hope Network is the customized support callers receive. When a patient/survivor calls the toll-free number, he or she is interviewed.  Their profile is then matched against the network's database of support volunteers based on:

• The type of cancer  
• The treatment program
• The side effects
• The stage of cancer
• Various psychosocial factors, which include age, gender, marital status, whether children are involved, as well as the patient/survivor's level of understanding of the cancer experience, and
• The immediate concern of the patient/survivor.

The support volunteer most closely matched against the patient/survivor’s profile and immediate concerns is then asked to make contact by telephone.  I made my first telephone call last week and spoke to a woman trying to decide whether to have a mastectomy or a third lumpectomy. We had a good conversation and I will call her back this week after she meets with a doctor for a second opinion. I know I helped her think through her options and feel less alone. And I also know that, just like the first time I reached out to help another cancer survivor, it was healing for me to be able to give back. 

Cancer Hope Network is non-sectarian, non-denominational, and not affiliated with any religious, political, or commercial entity.  It is funded totally by fund raising efforts. Cancer Hope Network's support volunteers do not endorse or recommend treatments, facilities, or physicians. In addition to emotional support and encouragement, they provide practical information, helpful hints, and methods for coping with their diagnosis, treatment and survivorship issues. 

If you need someone to talk with, whether you are actively treating or out of treatment and struggling with survivorship issues, consider making a call to the Cancer Hope Network. You can call toll-free at (877) HOPENET or visit their website at www.cancerhopenetwork.org. 

For those of you who haven't heard of Operation Bling, it's an organization founded by Chris Ferdinand of Ferdinand Jewelers in New Providence, NJ. Chris and her husband, Bill, founded Operation Bling as the result of a visit they made to a friend in the hospital battling ovarian cancer. The friend, who was also a client, complained that she missed her "bling" while in the hospital.

The next day, Chris brought her friend a gift: a sterling silver cubic zirconium ring. Her friend was so touched, she cried. From that pure act of kindness came the inspiration for Operation Bling Foundation, whose mission is to "give sparkling jewels to cancer patients during their hospital stay, bringing them cheer and pleasure."

I had my own Operation Bling moment at Overlook Hospital and my ring became a true symbol of all of the gifts of support I received from so many along my cancer journey.  

Here is Barbara's story, in her own words:

When I was at Overlook Hospital, with a 103 degree fever, an infection, feeling scared, depressed and most unattractive with my bald head, no eyebrows and no eyelashes, a "Bling Angel" stopped in and really changed my mood for the better.

I had been pondering about returning to work or retiring, a decision I had a terrible time making. What would I do after retiring that could be as rewarding as teaching? After she presented me with a lovely, sparkling pin, she stayed and chatted and listened. It was nice to know that somebody cared, and I snapped out of my depression. That day I vowed that, if and when I recovered, I would like to be a "Bling Angel" and try to bring some joy to others. Helping others with cancer was something I could do after retirement that seemed really worthwhile and a way of giving back after all the kindnesses I had received.

That wish has come true. I am a survivor and am presently taking bling gifts to cancer patients at Overlook. One woman chose a silver ring with a zirconium. She was thrilled because she had lost the diamond from her engagement ring, which she sorely missed, and this one was an exact duplicate. Another woman told me that she had been a singer and member of a choir, but felt too sick to sing while having chemo. When I asked her about the songs she used to sing, she told me that "Ave Maria" was her favorite and then burst into song and sang it loudly and beautifully. All the other patients and nurses in the chemo room heard her and applauded very enthusiastically. She beamed with a broad smile and offered to give a concert to the cancer patients. I felt so happy to see her looking so pleased.

The day of Barbara's "Bling Angel" visit, she realized that lending a helping hand to others in the struggle would bring joy and worth into her life beyond cancer. She would give support and reap healing for herself. Isn't that what giving back is at its finest and most rewarding? Thank you Barbara for giving back to others as an Operation Bling Angel!

Like Barbara, I had a defining moment when I realized giving back by supporting others helps me heal too." Have you had a moment like that? I'd love to hear about it.

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