Every single one of us who was diagnosed with cancer remembers that moment when we went from blissful ignorance of cancer, to concentrating our entire being on beating it back. We began the marathon with the process of initial diagnosis, which can take weeks or months and involves scary and painful testing. We pushed through to treatment, terrified to submit to surgery, chemotherapy and/or radiation, but courageously facing what needed to be done. Now, after that crazy time of tests, doctors, treatments, hospitalizations, chemo sessions, etc., we stand on the other side and ask ourselves – Where do we go now?
Welcome to that place. Where We Go Now is a community of people who have survived the cancer experience and lived to find a new life of resilience, focus and courage. At the beginning of our experience, all we wanted was to get back to our “real” life. But now we know life has been changed forever. Surprisingly, a lot of that change is for the better. We’re asking for more, living more deeply and reaching out. We treasure the amazing connections we’ve made throughout this journey with people who get the struggle.
There are many wonderful sites that provide information on treatment options and support groups for those undergoing treatment. But for those of us exploring the next phase, Where We Go Now is a place to meet and connect with others who truly understand what we've been through and who want to help each other revel in the new normal that is our life.
Comments
4th time's a charm
Wow, a great site. I once thought years ago "Where do I go now?" Then came several episodes of "Just when you thought it was over!" After the 4th episode of cancer (3 breast and 1 fallopian tube), I am back to the "Where do I go now?" stage and am relishing it. Reconstruction is complete and everything looks better than I could have ever imagined thanks to the work of one fantastic plastic surgeon in Baltimore. I have not blogged about the experience until now and it has been nine years since the ordeal began, but I really like this site. Thank you for the great stories. I love the one today regarding ruining the color pink for survivors.
Welcome to WWGN!
Sherry:
Thank you so much and I'm so glad you found WWGN! You must have many stories to tell from your nine year experience. If you're interested, please take a moment to go over to the Community List to add your own gifts and losses from cancer. Also, please make sure to enter your email address in the subscribe box to the right, so I can send my posts directly to your inbox.
I'm so glad to have you here at WWGN! I love your positive attitude and look forward to hearing more of your story!
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
Great site!
Hi Debbie,
Great site! Just read about your site in the Daily Record. I am 3 years out from my Stage 1 BC, lumpectomy, chemo and radiation - all done at Morristown Hospital. Many sites deal with cancer support DURING your illness, but the ball drops after that regardless of the fact that survivors still have issues to deal with (as I sit here fanning another hot flash courtesy of my Tamoxifen and chemo induced menopause - yay).
It's almost like we are supposed to box up the experience and put it in the attic - it's over now, just move on. But,as we do indeed move on, we are now a different person. We have a new "normal". The 6 month check ups, the worry each time that the cancer could come back. I read your gift and loss list and mine is very similar, right down to the Pilates failure!
Thanks for creating a support place for us!
Wow! You Get My Pilates Experience!
Hi Amy:
I'm so glad you're here at WWGN! You are so right about the lack of support after cancer. Of course, is there ever really an "after" to cancer? We who are going through it know the answer to that question. I can't believe you had the same Pilates experience. When I was lying on that floor, struggling to hold it together and not run out of the room crying, I felt so alone. I'm so glad to know you get it. Thanks for supporting me!
If you haven't already, make sure you sign up for an email subscription so my posts come directly to your inbox. Also, I'd love to hear about your gifts and losses, which you can add to the Community List.
Thanks so much for your comment and I look forward to sharing much more with you.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
Celebrating October
I love this posting. It is a real reminder that October is a pretty cool month. In fact, I am currently writing a post about reclaiming October and not succumbing to the pink parade -- especially when October is so much more.
Thanks Beth!
Beth:
I'm so glad you liked my "Being Aware and Present this October" post. Like I said in my post about pink, we have to reclaim October so it speaks to us on our own terms. As breast cancer survivors, we deserve to enjoy the beauty of the month as much as we did before our cancer hit. I really feel it's important to find a balance between the "new normal" and the life we had before cancer.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
Finding the Road back after Caner
For me ( @DarrellSmithsr )it was a horrendous battle, given only a few hours left to live. The finality of my doctor saying it was time to call in my family and watching my doctor simply walk out of the room for the last time, I fought even harder than when I was first told I had cancer. And by a miracle, I survived. Only to find how much society had changed in my absence. Finding the road back for me, meant finding a new road untraveled. Searching for something positive, I wrote a book currently being published at West Bow press. "After the Cancer, what Now"? All survivors need to share their story to give hope to others. You cannot hide, 1 in 4 Americans will get cancer and the "boogie man" is standing in your street today, looking for the next home to enter. Please take the time to have cancer screening now.
Very Good Advice
Darrell:
Good advice and I'm glad you survived to tell your story. I really think we all need to share and support each other. It's one of the best ways I know to fight back against the losses of cancer in our lives.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
New to your site
Just found your site and am finding my way through it - lots of good information! I completed my bilateral mastectomy on February 14th, 2011 (yes, it was Valentine's Day, that's how anxious I was to get the expanders out)! I'm trying to figure out how to get involved after my year and a half of this awful, yet profound and life changing process of breast cancer. How did you get involved? I'd like to do something to support other women going through this, but not sure what's available in NJ. If you have any suggestions, I'd be most appreciative. Best, Claudia http://www.claudiaspost.blogspot.com
Welcome to WWGN!
Hi Claudia:
I'm so glad you're healing from the effects of your breast cancer. I found that giving back was a significant part of my healing too. I told everyone I met at my cancer center that I was immensely grateful and wanted to give back. Because I made that known, when a spot opened up on the Oncology Community Advisory Board of the Carol G. Simon Cancer Center at Overlook Hospital, I was invited to sit on the board. On the board, I met the director of Pathways and now work as a patient educator with The Connection's Pathways Women's Cancer Teaching Project. If you want to know what this amazing group of women does to give back, you can read my blog posts about them by searching "Pathways."
WWGN is my very personal way of sharing and supporting other cancer survivors. I'm so glad you found us and I look forward to talking to you more often. If you want, you can receive my blog posts in your email box by signing up in the FeedBurner box to the right.
Thanks again for your comment and take good care.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
sometimes there is no "after"
I thought I was done after my stage 2b/3a bc was "cured" a few years ago. But no. I now have early bone mets (have for a year now) and am feeling fine, it's under control with estrogen blockers (Faslodex) for now. What I'm learning now is how willing the Pink Ribbon machine is to throw those of us who aren't expected to survive under the bus. 30% of people with breast cancer will die from mets. Yet we get 1 day in October and 2% of Komen's funds for research FOR A CURE. If any of you survivors want to do something meaningful...HELP US! You could be one of us before your life is done. 1 in 3 chance ladies. Not fun to look at that but there is so much to be done if we really are to find a cure. We need to push for trials of less toxic drugs that will keep us alive with some measure of quality of life too. And so much more. Don't leave us behind as you move forward and try to put this in your past. You do so at your own peril.
Please Look Into the Army of Women
Beverly:
I'm so sorry you are living with metastatic breast cancer. You are so right that we need to put more resources toward finding a cure. I am a member and supporting blogger of the Love/Avon Army of Women, which brings together scientists working on reserach to discover ways to prevent and cure breast cancer and the women needed to populate those studies. Sign up today with the Army of Women and encourage your friends (with and without cancer) to sign up too. Research is the only way we're going to find a cure for cancer and we can all do our part by getting involved with the Army of Women.
The truth is that Komen isn't the only organization we can support to get this done.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
Pay it forward
I have completed one year of treatment with lumpectomy, chemo, radiation & Herceptin. Now continuing with Femara for a total of five years. I have residual peripheral neuropathy in my feet & legs, but otherwise feel great.
I love your site, & admire your strength. Cancer is not for sissies! I blogged for one year about my health challenges at CaringBridge (shaynadanasg). Now that I am doing well, I do not write much, as thankfully, I have a less eventful life today. It is important for me to pay it forward, & help guide women (or men, of course) who are going through treatment or struggling with diagnosis, recurrence or recovery.
We need to be our own best friends, and support each other.
So Wonderful to Hear You're Doing Great!
Dana:
Congratulations on completing treatment and thank you so much! I'm so glad you're feeling great. Giving back is definitely part of my healing and it sounds like it's working for you as well. I'm proud to be part of your support group and thanks for being part of mine.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
Experiencing "What Now"
For the last 6 months I have been completely frustrated with myself. I've been anxious and fearful and very negative. I am 13 months post double mastectomy and 10 months post radiation therapy for Stage 3 breast cancer. I just recently have sought help to cope with my emotional issues and have been quite relieved to discover that this is "normal". Just read the article in CURE and have signed on to this site. Thank you.
You Just Brought Tears to My Eyes...
Dear Pam:
Thank you so much. The reason I keep WWGN up and running every day is to share the truth with my fellow survivors that we are not alone. I am a huge believer in the power of oncology therapy - it helped me heal in ways I never expected and is still helping to this day. Whatever our experiences, to feel on top of everything else that we have gone through that we are somehow abnormal, is just too much to bear. Once we know our feelings are normal, that we are not alone and are in fact surrounded by others who completely "get it," real healing can begin.
I'm so glad you're here and thank you again for your beautiful comment.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
Thyroid Cancer 2 times in six months
Debbie,
Hi i was kinda wondering if their is a site for THYROID CANCER. I am a Cancer Survivor, but this one hit me like a football!!! I just went for my 6 month checkup and i was amazed at the result.... I have no one in this cancerious world but tears and unhappiness. It's a miracle to have found your site but I am angry and dont understand alot so i said o.k. live or die and my little doggie said mommy i need you!! So last night we both cried and tomm is the second biopsy on my LYMPH NODES that appeared in my results.. So can u give me words of advice. Last Sept. 2011 i was getting a divorce when i found out i had to CANCER..
I'm So Glad You're Reaching Out for Support
Marlelena:
I'm so glad you found WhereWeGoNow and were able to share your fears and struggles with me. I can't imagine going through cancer alone and having no one to talk to who understands. The best advice I can give you is to seek out support. You can talk to a support volunteer for free by calling the Cancer Hope Network at 1-800-552-4366 (if you live in the US.) The person who answers the phone is really wonderful and will set you up with a cancer survivor who has gone through what you are going through.
Talking with other survivors who get it is the best way I know to make it through all the emotional hurdles of cancer. You're dealing with so much (going through a divorce is devastating enough.) Keep reaching out, by letting me know how you do tomorrow and by calling the Cancer Hope Network. You need and deserve all the support you can get.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
Great site
I'm going enjoy being here I have been having lot's of anxiety since my diagnosis with anal cancer and I'm trying everyday to draw more awareness I'm first trying to get a ribbon for anal cancer,it's the one I was diagnosed with on July 27,2009. http://signon.org/sign/anal-cancer-ribbon
I'm So Glad You're Here
CancerFree:
Thanks so much for joining us here at WWGN. Good luck with your campaign and please know that, no matter what type of cancer you have, we are here to support each other.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
"wonderful sites"
I love your blog! I'm a 2-time breast cancer survivor and am moving on with my life. During and after I finished chemo (last March) I have relied heavily on www.beyondtheshock.com. It's sponsored by the National Breast Cancer Foundation. Many women in all stages of diagnosis and treatment helping each other. I highly recommend it!
Sounds Like a Great Resource
Evvie:
Thanks for the recommendation, it sounds like a great site! I'm a big believer in reaching out for support wherever you can find it - and the internet is a great resource. And thank you too for loving my blog - come back often!
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
moving on...
after surviving stage III breast cancer and leukemia, along with two bone marrow transplants at 32 years old when my life went from carefree, fun, traveling, working, raising and loving my daughter to a complete nightmare as all the odds stacked against me. after 2 years, i am in remission but continue to fight the side effects of the cancers and the transplants. i have a clot in my jugular vein, i have severe osteoporosis and arthritis and having difficulty walking, i am grateful to be alive but i cannot snap out of the fear and trauma that i have gone through. to me there is still no new normal. i struggle through every day. I miss my job, i miss traveling and as often as i still end up in the hospital with infections, graft vs host etc, i feel stuck in the city that i need a break from. i'm alive but my life ended at 32 when i heard the words 'you have breast cancer' and three weeks later when i heard 'you also have leukemia'. I am not a weak person and i cannot forgive myself for being stuck, for being so sad and scared and depressed. can anyone relate? has everyone moved on?
Please Keep Reaching Out for the Support You Need & Deserve
Veeka:
You are not alone in this. There are many people struggling with the emotional trauma and side effects of their treatment. I can tell you that when I was depressed and scared, I turned to a therapist. Talking and sharing my feelings with someone who understood and wasn't dependent on me was cathartic and healing. It's obvious from your comment that you are a very strong person, but that doesn't mean you can do this alone - no one can. Please reach out for support and help at your cancer center, or by calling CancerCare, the Cancer Hope Network or the American Cancer Society. I know it's overwhelming, but you can take baby steps to find the support you need and deserve - for you and your daughter. I'm pulling for you!!
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
Hello
i am sorry..
Post new comment