The Never-Ending Cancer Guilt Trip
People expect fear to ignite when cancer enters the picture. Of course I was afraid, but it wasn't fear that motivated me to do what I did next. I hung up the phone resolved to handle this alone.
Rather than immediately calling my husband, my plan was to return to the breast center for additional testing in secret. I absolutely needed his support, but I couldn't bear the thought of causing my spouse of 21 years the worry that phone call caused me. Like it or not, I was going to stay mum until I knew more.
Best case scenario, I would go to the breast center, get good news and tell him after the fact. Worst case scenario — well, I didn't actually have a plan for that.
A few days later while my husband was at work and our children were at school, I snuck back to the breast center. I was lying by omission and didn’t feel good about it, but being both the bearer of bad news and its cause riddled me with tremendous guilt.
It didn’t go well . . . Read more here.
Survival > Existence,